This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyare required
to work in shifts.These employees face
This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyThis words can be replaced with:adverse
negativebecause of this
.Further
I will discuss the major problems faced by the workers andsteps can
be taken
to solve them.Shift workers encounter two major problems.
Firstly
, the odd timeexhaustion they face during their shift hours is one of the major
issues. Due to non-regular working hours, their bodies are not adapted
to work on that timing.
As a result
, they suffer from the lack ofsleep which
further
leads to health problems like high blood pressureand cardiovascular diseases.
Secondly
, This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
peoplenight shift
also
risk their This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
livesstaff
are exposed
to the risk of encountering robbers or criminalswhile transit to their workplace. To illustrate, workers who are going
to
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :consolidatefuse
joinThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
peopleillegitimate intentions, who can rob then or hurt them while
travelling.
There are
This words can be replaced with:a number of
someorder to resolve the problem of health issues due to lack of sleep,
Shift workers
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
mustthey can take a power nap which
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createsconstructsmanufacturesproduces
makeswhile working.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Also,
AlsoThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
mustThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getof sleep during day time. This will
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :aidassistsupport
helphealth problems.
Further
to address the risk while travelling tooffice. Organizations
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldoffice during odd hours, Employers
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldsecurity staff on the vehicle to ensure that their employees
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldsafe while coming to office. Like
This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyPossible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.center
centrePick and drop facilities to their employees who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'employees' should be used.work
worksPlease add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphshift.shift!shift?shift:shift,shift;
shiftTo sum up, although shift workers face
This words can be replaced with:a number of
somebe
eliminated
if these employees take care of their sleep in order toeliminated
safeguard themselves from health disorders.
Also
, organizations takeresponsibility of employee’s safety by offering pick and drop
facilities to staff.
5.5
Total Band
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Lexical Resource
6
Grammatical Range
5.5
Task Achievement