It is irrefutable that children are of and parents want their wards are in life. It their wards to a part time occupation in their spare time. This essay will examine merits and demerits of this statement in subsequent paragraphs. about myriad tasks and acquire knowledge about new or talents. To illustrate, a bunch of juveniles, who do part time jobs like in bakery or factory, with backing they may be their . they can save their time it is a lucrative to do part time job. those offspring, who are studying if they do part time jobs they can not to lower grade in subjects, which may not to build the successful career of infants. Despite, the infer that doing part time job while studying is not optimum way to rear up child manner. It can affect them either physical or mentally. , parents should not their wards to do this while studying.
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.policy-makerspolicymakers
policy makersPossible spelling mistake found.tomorrow
tommorowConsider using a past participle here: "succeeded".succeeded
succeedis pondered
that parents are predominantly
Consider using a past participle here: "emboldened".emboldened
emboldenThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getIndubitably
, there are numerous benefits to have a part time job. The first
and foremost is that they can be Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.learned
learntThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skillsThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :embarked on the proccess of
startedPossible spelling mistake found.businessbossinessfussinessbushiness
bussinessSecondly
, parents embolden children to do this This words can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
becauseinstead
of playing video games in spare time. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Hence,
HenceThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtconceptnotion
ideaOn the other hand
, doing part time jobs also
have drawbacks as it can be This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :impacted
affectedThis words can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
becausebe concentrated
on education. They This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
usedThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :aidassistsupport
helpare become
distressed while taking education and with doing part time jobs since they became vulnerable and stressful and cannot feel relax. Therefore
, children are distracted
by doing part time jobs. To encapsulate, Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
iUse "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'an
aA determiner is probably missing here: "in the best".in the best
in bestThis words can be replaced with:therefore
SoThe verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "encourage"encourage
encouraged5.5
Total Band
5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range
5.5
Task Achievement