This words can be replaced with:a number of
SomeHowever
, others say that it is beneficial for jobholders to participate in various industries. This essay intends to discuss to the both points along with relevant examples in the upcoming paragraphs This words can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
beforeOn the one hand, there are certain merits to workers, if they work in same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.organization
organisationFirstly
, employees can become professional in a particular field through working for long time in a company, This words can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
becauseThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
onlyThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getThis words can be replaced with:on the contrary
butalso
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :aidassistsupport
helpFor example
, a person, who is expert as well
as This words can be replaced with:ancientagedmature
oldThis words can be replaced with:therefore
soThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getPossible spelling mistake found.countriescounties
countiresThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
geteasily
in their jobs, when they have more experience and connect with a company from long time. Hence
, jobholders can receive promotion and earn profit without changing Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.organization
organisationOn the other hand
, if This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
peopleThis words can be replaced with:various
differentThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improvePossible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.socialize
socialiseThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :attain
meetPossible spelling mistake found.different
diffierentAs a result
, their bonding level and communication skill will The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "develop"develop
developedThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
peoplePossible spelling mistake found.manymanwantMattmeantmast
mantIn addition
, everyone can become multi-task worker with attending to This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyFor instance
, a worker will perform in This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyThis words can be replaced with:therefore
soThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :aidassistsupport
helpTo conclude
, I opine that although, employees can This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getPossible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.organizations
organisationsThis words can be replaced with:on the contrary
butThis words can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
becauseMoreover
, they can not earn profit as well
as certain offers from their companies such as tour of international countries and holiday package.
6
Total Band
6.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
6
Grammatical Range
6.5
Task Achievement